WHY DO YOU LOVE ME!
by elusivespycrab
Summary: Link tries to get over Midna leaving, so after he drinks a potion at Telma's bar, every single girl that was exposed to him for fifteen seconds falls in love with him! Can he find the one he loves that he knows loves him back truly? Crackfic, MidnaLink.
1. Coming Home

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?!

A/N: This a giant crackfic WIP. Came to me after reading some… FemLink… things… well, that isn't important. It's just Link/Fangirls and Other Women Attracted to Link, One-Sided. And I'll give you three guesses to figure out who doesn't love back. Also, Link/Midna! This is T, which may at one point escalate to M. Also, Link's tights are just white pants. With what this story has to offer, he'd be happy with pants instead of tights. ;)

Chapter One: Coming Home

Link watched the mirror shatter. Link watched and heard her say, "Link, I… see you later," as she stepped up on the platform to return to the world of the Twilight. He watched as she disappeared and the single tear shattered the mirrorthat was the only known connection to the Twili into thousands of shards and dust. Link was truly speechless. It seemed his brain had no words to offer, only silent tears. The phantom image of Midna, the Twilight Princess disappeared from his eyes, and all the while he begged for it to stay. She was gone from his life.

Forever.

"Link…" Zelda said, laying a gloved hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and walked down the spiral staircase of the Arbiter's Ground. Zelda followed the silent Hero through the corridors, out into the darkening desert ruins. Twilight dominated the sky, and Link had his head bowed to the ground. He walked across the dunes to the the newly built bridge from the sands to Lake Hylia. Zelda begged for a word from him. They arrived on the stone bridge pointing north and south. There, Epona was waiting, along with four horsemen and their steeds, obviously Zelda's guards. As the green-garbed man got on his horse, the Hyrulian Princess asked him, "Link, what is your problem?"

He simply looked at her with red eyes and tears streaming down his tanned cheeks, and said, "Shut up, Zelda." Link pressed his boots into Epona's sides and she whinnied, galloping south as Zelda and her guards prepared to go north to the Castle. Zelda frowned as he disappeared into the horizon, going into the southern fields of Hyrule.

Tears flowed as if they would never end. Midna was gone. His friend was gone.

His one true love was gone.

It wasn't until the next morning that Link reached Ordon Village. Everyone was gathered at the base of his treehouse, waiting for him to return. They took in the new Link, with his blood-stained tunic, his shining chain mail, his limp green hat, his white-turned red pants, and his dully shined shoes. He had a lean muscular build and tanned skin. Link was in deed a new man.

Ilia ran forward and hugged him, followed shortly by a hesitant Malo, Talo, and Beth. And then a grown Colin. Rusl and Uli came next, and then Bo and ev eryone else. Link barely reacted to the hugs, and as they backed away from him, he finally felt a roll of parchment in his hand. He unrolled the old paper, and it dated back two years, to Ilia's birthdate. It was signed by Link's parents and Bo, the mayor. Reading closely, Link's eyes widened. Marriage papers? Was he unknowingly betrothed his whole life?

Apparently, it was time for him to know that he and Ilia were going to get married. He looked up form the paper held in his leather gloves. His worn face and blue eyes shortly looked across the crowd before he repositioned his hands at the top of the paper in the middle. He drew his hands apart, tearing the paper in half. The village gasped as the sixteen-year-old promise was literally ripped to shreds by its own holder. When the paper was only little bits, Link opened his hands and let the signed parchment fall into the dirt.

Link bowed his head and moved to the ladder of his house. Bo moved towards the Hero and began to shout at him. "Link, do you have any idea what you're doing? Throwing away a sixteen-year-old promise like that and your own parents signed-"

"SHUT UP!" Link yell resonated throughout the forest. Bo stepped back from him and watched him climb the ladder. When he was up on the platform, he did something he hadn't done since he believe that monsters of the night were going to bite his head off: pull the ladder up from the ground and onto the platform. Before entering his home, he turned to the crowd. "If you hear me crying… or yelling… or screaming… or any shit like that, just ignore it. I will just be brooding over my past." He entered his house, and then exited it and put the ladder back down. "Um… can someone open the town shop? I'm all out of everything."


	2. Not Talking

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME!

A/N: I see that I have received thumbs up from six or seven people, so YAY! Most successful since Barely Passing As Normal. And yes, I changed usernames.

Chapter 2: Not Talking

Midna felt the same way as Link when the tear shattered the mirror. She silently cried as she said, "Link, I… see you later." She climbed the platform to the portal that appeared before her. Midna watched as Link disappeared from sight, and she reappeared in the Twilight Realm. Her people immediately surrounded her, greeting her and bowing and curtsying. The Twili Council made their way through the crowd increasing in size. "Princess Midna, you have returned!" they shook her hand, and in return, they got a small smile.

"Princess, what is wrong?" asked a young council member, Roku. He saw the puffy, red-eyed face of the distraught leader. She looked at Roku, and said, "It's… it's nothing. I need some time alone." She made her way through the crowd to her private chambers in the castle. Midna felt horrible not only for herself, but for Link. She couldn't even begin to think how much he was affected by this. She laid down on her bed with her thin cloak and pulled the sheets over her shoulders, turning away from the door and towards the wall. Midna's eyes still shed tears from twenty minutes ago. She felt like she couldn't live without Link anymore… but she had to live for her people. Slowly, she fell asleep, slipping into a dream where there were no wars… no battles, no evil creatures, just her, Link, and no one else…

Link followed the shop owner to the shop, where he bought cow milk, bread, raw cucco, and several other food items. He brought them back to his house, and it was easier to get up now that he had his double hookshots. Link began to pull up the ladder when he felt a weight on it. He looked down to see Colin latched onto the ladder. "I swear to the Goddesses above, Colin, I will blow this ladder apart or worse if you don't get off it."

"Link, I want to talk to you."

Link looked at Colin for a moment, and then said, "Get up here." Colin complied and made his way up to the platform. They both went inside, but not before Link pulled the ladder up. As they sat down, Colin asked, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Link stayed silent for a moment, and then answered, "I'm in love."

"It's not Ilia, is it?"

"Gee, I rip up our betrothal papers, what do you think?"

"But why not Ilia?"

"At first, when I was a kid, I thought we would get married… but then the crush dissipated into nothing, to where we were just friends. Plus, I've sort of met someone when I was gone."

Colin nodded. "How did you meet?"

"You wouldn't believe me," Link said shaking his head.

"Try me," replied Colin, and so, Link told him about when he was kidnapped and Midna helped to free him. He talked about how they eventually grew on to each other, and then how she broke the mirror.

"Wow…" Colin said, "you must really like her."

"Yeah. But please, don't tell anyone you talked to me. Then they'll think they can get something out of me… just sayh you were washing Epona." Colin nodded and exited the house. Link followed him outside, only to see a shadow around the corner to the village. "Colin, speed up." Colin slid down the ladder and ran off with Epona to the Spring. Link was just about to pull the ladder up when he saw the worst possible person to have the shadow at that moment.

Ilia.

She saw Link half-way through the process of pulling up the ladder. "Link Gale, I want to talk to you!" she shouted. He heard her, and quickly continued to pull up the ladder. Ilia began to run, and then she jumped and grabbed onto the bottom rung of the ladder. Link nearly fell under the sudden weight, but held the ladder up in the air.

"Link, let this ladder down and let me up."

Link shook his head. He noticed the rung he was holding was curving. "It's gonna break, it's gonna break, it's gonna break, it's gonna- " The wooden rung snapped and scraped against his wrists as the ladder moved down, and his hands grabbed onto the next rung. Ilia was lowered a bit, and then some more as the next rung broke… and then the other, and the other. Soon, about half of the rungs were broken and the ladder was now useless. Link's wrists were now bloody. He sighed and entered his house, closing the door behind him.

"Link!" Ilia yelled. "Link! Why did you rip up the paper?"

Link opened the door and walked to the edge of the platform. He squatted down on his knees, and simply said, "I don't love you." He returned into his house. Ilia ran home crying.


	3. HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! Announcement

"HEY!"

"LOOK!"

"LISTEN!"

-Navi. R.I.P., the little bitch.

Important Notice: I have a Twitter account that will be streaming out info and previews for new chapters! Follow me ZLASfanfiction on .com. Also, if you make FanFiction stories, message me on Twitter, and I might mention YOU in my chapters!

-ZLAS


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